New Story Next Tuesday!

Okay!  That’s enough inactivity for you.  Spark plugs to the chest it is.

I’ve just done NaNoWriMo.  Specifically, I’ve just done my first attempt at an almost completely improvised NaNoWriMo.  None of my usual rigorous planning: I started with a title and a map of a village, and went from there.

(All right, there was a page of Scrivener notes.  That’s still pretty darn improvised for me.)

At the conclusion of NaNoWriMo 2018, the MLs told us not to go straight online and self-publish our novels.  (What is an ML, I hear you cry, and I’m so glad you did.)  This is 100% correct.  A NaNo novel(la) is written under time pressure.  You’re encouraged not to edit.  NaNo is a way of getting a large number of words down on a page, so that you can come back to them, refine them, and turn them into something brilliant.  It is highly unlikely to be something brilliant straight away, in and of itself.

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to prove that to you.

I knew that I wouldn’t write anything good this year.  I knew that to the extent that I called my NaNovel ’50k Words of Utter Gubbins’.  I am now going to publish it, in weekly instalments, on the Internet for your pleasure.

I will edit each entry briefly before I put it up; but I won’t change content drastically, or pacing.  It will still very much be a raw NaNo novel.  It will still only be tangentially related, plot-wise, to its name.  It will still not be as good as Tiers of an Angel, which I’m still trying to find the time to clean up.  It will still very much be utter gubbins.

There’s a slim chance, however, that it might be funny.  There’s a slim chance that it might be interesting.  There’s a larger chance that it might be a lesson in Why Not To Publish Your Novel Straight After NaNo.  I’m kind of banking on these three things.

The first chapter of 50k Words of Utter Gubbins goes up on Tuesday 11th December.  I hope you enjoy it.

The Perks of Being a WAHlflower – Part 10

This is the final part of ‘The Perks of Being a WAHlflower’.  I hope you enjoyed it!  If you’re late to the party, you can read them in order starting from the beginning by clicking here:  And now, the conclusion…

So it was that Waluigi sat in his house, having been discharged from the hospital because the doctors had forgotten about him, with several quite nasty injuries that hadn’t been bad enough to kill him and let him respawn.

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The Perks of Being a WAHlflower – Part 8

It was some time later. Slowqueen was alone in the flight deck.

She’d managed to tap into the Bowser’s Castle PA system. She’d ordered the assorted tortoises and other minions, and their noisy irritating minds, to go out and claim Peach’s Castle. That left only her, the imprisoned Peach, and the sentient stone traps in the building.

This was more or less the way she liked it. It allowed her to get on with planning her final gambit.

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The Perks of Being a WAHlflower – Part 5

It was a small island, covered in orchids and little shrubs. Seemingly taken over by nature, vines and long grass provided copious trip hazards. The shrubs ought to have been small enough for Waluigi to step over. He tried, pricked himself in the groin, and didn’t try again.

The Surf had gone smoothly enough. The toes of his shoes dipped into the water: otherwise he remained dry. The mosquitos were paying close attention, but Waluigi had never been very biteable, and Slowpoke seemed immune. Having Surfed on her, this was probably because of her rubbery skin. Not the tastiest meal, he imagined.

If she’d heard him thinking that, she didn’t show it. She seemed… preoccupied.

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